Thursday, April 14, 2011

today is thursday

Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. -Kahlil Gibran

Things I love Today
            Knowing I can do it
            Ice road truckers [ha]
            Connecting with my sister Cathee
Tid bits from the homefront:
            The little cat [pregnant] we have been feeding, came to eat yesterday and obviously has had her babies. I tried to follow her, but she is too quick for me. She came back again this morning – looks happy – meows at the door if I haven’t put food in the laundry room for her. So cute. Tiny and never should have been having babies – that is why I am concerned. She has a collar on – and seems to live somewhere – though they are not feeding her [I think she may be a cat that they think should eat the birds and mice – yuck]. I’ll keep you posted – we are going to try and do more sneaky surveillance today.
            The veggies and wedding flowers are growing [slowly] – we had a bad week of many storms [pouring rain, hail and winds] – so their growth wasn’t what I had anticipated, though they are growing. And the peas are doing great … Hoping to move them to the ground this weekend. Yeah.
When I began writing this daily journal/blog, I didn’t know where it was going … sometimes I wasn’t certain exactly why I was doing it. I knew, in my head, that I had many things to share … wisdom to impart … experiences that coincide with so many other people’s experiences. During the past couple of weeks, I have not been writing with passion. Truthfully, I have been ‘trying to find things to say’ … because I am at such a crux in my life and I can see the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel – whew. That’s all good – though in the midst of my stretching, growing, learning to have a new appreciation for me … I am feeling kinda vulnerable. Not sure what to say or not to say. Those old stupid words keep running through my head: Is this crazy? Will people think I am nuts? How can my shit help anyone? On and on and on …
This morning I was reading Cristina Carlino’s
Her journaling. She is a beautiful, honest writer, and seems to be an amazing person. I have been checking out her blogs, writings, etc. for a few weeks now; and this morning when I read from this new [to me] site, I was so moved by the parallels … different life, different stories, same lack of feelings that come up so often. I decided at that point to be more honest. Not that I haven’t been sharing truths … I have just skimmed over the surface and this is my personal week to dig deeper – for many yucky reasons.
In the past, I have always been known as Positive Pattie – and that is a good thing … I can see the positive [silver lining, if you will] in every situation. This is something I never see changing in me – though life is not all rosy, and during the past few years, I have grabbed the 30 percent that was rosy/lovely, and patted the rest on the head and put it in a comfy place that was very undeserved, and detrimental to me inside smiling.
 It isn’t as though I never addressed things – of course I did. I may have taken an alternate path for a bit, though do have my brain in tact and quite a bit of knowing wisdom. I have enjoyed many sessions with my friend Donna digger deeper than I would have liked at the time. I don’t want you to think that I have been lazy, with my feet up … I haven’t. I just haven’t taken it all and let it go – for fear that if I did, what parts of me would be left. How completely silly is that? Started a new ‘Pattie is the most important person to Pattie’ Campaign this week.
All of this rambling is to let you know that I am working on a different kind of path to loving Pattie right now. So, who knows what might come out right here. Some of you know me in the physical life; some don’t … some of you know bits and pieces of all that sent me to the woods for solitude, gardening and writing. Some of you probably know more than you care to know. Kidding.
I am hoping by sharing from my newly glued together heart [still wondering what shape it will be taking], there may be something that can/will enlighten spirits as so many have helped to enlighten mine. Paying it forward – while it is free therapy for me. xo
I am so loving the color that is beginning to sprout with all of the green.
Gardening journal -          
spaghetti squash - finally - yeah
dill - just a bit [can hardly see here] but it is there
 lettuce and mixed greens
summer [yellow] squash
 tomatoes - 3 kinds
 wedding flowers
 wedding flowers
 wedding flowers
wedding flowers
yellow rose bush - 2 buds - yeah
almost forgot the zucchini 

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."
Thich Nhat Hanh
Until tomorrow xo♥  
Be what you want the world to be

1 comment:

  1. The flowers all look gorgeous. I can't believe the annuals coming up again. I really love your gardening blog updates. Keep moving forward and you'll figure out why/what/how this blog is all about!